As I was sitting with an anxious, fidgety parent prior to meeting with her child and teacher she paused and then asked if she could share something with me. I had no idea what she was going to say, why she felt like she needed to share at this time, or even why she chose to share with me. I did know one thing for sure. I knew I was going to listen, and respect the fact she chose me to share it with. As I leaned in closer, she began to weep. It was if she had to release what was in her heart before we could proceed with what she truly came to see me about; a parent conference with her child's teacher. As she gently wiped the tears away, she shared with me about a horrific incident of abuse that scarred her as a child and has plagued her even as an adult. She described in vivid details what happened to her, how it impacts her now, and how it has caused her to be extremely overprotective with her children. Now, we have to be honest, many times we are terrified to hear about trauma of others or maybe I should say we are reluctant to talk about trauma of others. We may be reluctant because we feel like we do not know what to say to someone who has gone through trauma. Or it could be it triggers experiences we have had, or experiences within our family so we dare not even mention trauma? What I know for sure is not talking about the trauma in our lives doesn't make it go away nor does it help the healing process.
Trauma in our lives doesn't have to be sexual abuse, it could be any event that has occurred that has left us in a state of brokeness, despair, and hopelessness. Trauma can cause a adult woman to be transported back in time to the age she was when she experienced the trauma. In other words, if there is no help the traumatized individual can remain stagnate, and carry the hurt for years and even for a lifetime. Now, the woman I mentioned earlier, admittedly said she knew she continued to be traumatized by what happened to her when she was a small child. As, I listened to her I couldn't help but wonder about the depth of her pain, and wonder if anyone tried to help her process the horror she expereinced as a child. I wondered if anyone had reached out to truly listen, and give her resources to begin the healing process.
Healing from trauma is a process. I definitley can't tell you how long the process will be for you. I can tell you , YOU DESERVE TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOU, YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE! Resources that have been recommended to help with the healing process are counseling, support groups, being open to the process of healing, and realizing you can't give up on your healing process. You are worth it. Something you may not have considered that I would like to bring to your attention. People within your circle of infuluence(friends, family, co-workers, associates, and even those you meet on a daily basis) can be impacted by you. That's right YOU impact others! Therefore, it is crucial, YOU are at your best.
Now, I know just thinking about the healing process can be scary, uncomfortable, and something you may not want to deal with. I have heard this said so many times," YOU can not heal from a situation until you first acknowledge you need to be healed. Therefore, no matter how scary, or uncomfortable your journey to healing is important to you and alll within your circle of influence.
REMEMBER YOU ARE WORTH IT!